Monday, March 12, 2012

THOUGHTS ON THE MYSTERY OF COACH GALVIN: a running discourse by freshman Griffin Bohm

Although the California trip didn't go as planned, the season is still early and there's time left to improve. In an effort to bolster team moral, freshman Griffin Bohm brings us a season long (we can only hope) segment that tracks his pursuit of the truth behind Coach Galvin's identity.  Enjoy after after the jump and beware of Griffin's lack of truth utilized on his pursuit of a bigger truth. 

I was walking home last night and realized how little I actually know about the man that is John Galvin. I know he owns and operates Breakaway Sports, he went to OWU, and has coached at Cortland and CU twice now. I once weaseled out of him that he lives in South Boulder, and that he drives a trusty charcoal 4Runner.

But this leaves many questions unanswered. Wife? Family? Occupation before Breakaway? Type of degree? Did he even graduate or is he strictly a laxer? What is his favorite variety of chocolate? Does he even like chocolate? An attempt at an interview was quickly ended when he told me to sit back down and stop being so disruptive, but the shroud of secrecy remains.

What skeletons is Coach G hiding? Personally I think he did the smartest thing any man could. Marry rich, get a divorce and take his half. I feel like Coach could be the type to have lots of cool off shore bank accounts and bonds, or he could work for a government agency.

On our drive down to Alamosa, I caught Coach staring out the window at Mt. Blanca, likely contemplating his next move.
Mt. Blanca, as seen from Adams State College in Alamosa
In any event I am sure Coach owns a gun, and not some shotgun that can be used for hunting purposes, but a legit automatic weapon with the express purpose of gattin' enemies. I have a feeling coach really enjoys 2pac and loathes all variety of flower.

The mystery that surrounds Coach Galvin will likely never be solved and to be honest that may be best. Some things are better left unsaid.

In the time since this blog was originally started, things have both been clarified and darkened. For one we discovered that Coach got a masters in something (I forgot what exactly it was and he won't remind me because he knows it will annoy me) from Regis university. This would suggest that coach would be Catholic, but I'm scared to ask him about his theological leanings. However, this does confirm the fact that Coach graduated from college.

But the pit of knowledge goes on. In the airport on the way to California, coach made two crucial concessions to me on my quest to discover coach Galvin's true identity. 1. Coach is a generally well-dressed individual and 2. Coach has travelled to "many countries." and while he would not disclose the exact destinations at the time, I thought I caught the twinkle of an African star in his pale blue eyes.

Stay tuned for more on the mysteries of Coach Galvin

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