Tuesday, April 6, 2010

RED HOT ARTICLE: Top Five Places Not To Eat Within 12 Hours of Practice

Attackman Sam "Air" Tallman has his Red Hot Buffs debut with a highly informative article that any Boulder athlete would be dumb not to read and abide by. As you will see, this ain't his first pony show.

Top Five Places Not to Eat Within 12 Hours of Practice 
        Most athletes know that when it comes time for a hard vigorous practice, one must exhibit a healthy food intake in order to play in tip top shape.  With that being said, many of us here on the CU men’s lacrosse team do feel the same way, but from time to time will have to grab a “quick bite”, often resulting in disaster come practice time.  Here are the top five places not to eat within twelve hours of an athletic practice here in Boulder, Colorado. 

5.) Taco Bell

Everyone loves a quick T-Bell run, it’s fast, and delicious while you’re eating it.  What most people come to learn quickly is that although it's fast and tasty, it can quickly creep up on you at the onset of the pre-practice jog.  Before stretching is over, one might be a little bit “gassy” per say.  “Taco Smell” as it has often been called by CU students, isn’t easy on one’s thighs, or their rear end.

4.) Tra-Lings Oriental Café

Most CU students can attest to the fact that on their way home from a friend’s house on a weekend night at one point or another they stumbled on into Tra-Lings for some Chinese.   This is acceptable...if you’re a freshman (Doug). But for all of the Boulder Veterans, Tra-Lings is a no go.  One may ask, why is Chinese always decently expensive but Tra-Lings has a $3.95 three-meat combo meal?  The answer to this is unknown, but what is not unkown is that if you’re trying to compete at practice that night, Tra-Lings is not your best bet for a pre-practice meal. 

3.) University Hill Market and Deli

Known as the “Smelly Deli”, well, we’re just going to call it the “Smelly”.  Most members of the CU lacrosse team can admit that they have made the mistake of ordering a steak and cheese from the Smell.  Come a few hours down the road and most CU lacrosse players will admit that steak and cheese was a large mistake.  You’re in the middle of a drill and Senior Defenseman Michael Geocaris knocks you to the ground, maybe a small bit of that steak is now in your boxers..?  Who knows, but what I can tell you is that if a market is dubbed the “Smelly Deli”, you probably should stick to Gatorade, or if you’re like Nick Kupceweicz, Arizona Sweet Tea.

2.) Illegal Pete's

Dubbed “Illegal Meats “or “Illegal Sheets”, Illegal Pete’s is a large step below your decent burrito shack.  Although a quick couple of tacos or a chicken quesadilla sounds delicious, you may want to re-think your priorities before walking into Illegal Pete’s.  Just ask Junior Attackman James Blackburn, “I received food poisoning from Illegal Pete’s and I had the worst practice of my career (besides St. Patty’s day)”.  James couldn’t have said it better, if you want to have "the worst practice in your career", Illegal Pete’s is for you.

1.) Papa Ramanos

Dubbed “Papa Radumpskies”, Papa Ramanos is definitely “the bomb” the first time you eat it and maybe even the second.  But for those of us who have made the mistake of eating the Bambino, or of maybe even sharing a “Bambino Special” with that special roommate of yours, either way, the nickname doesn’t lie and more often than not that delicious pizza isn’t sitting too pretty in your stomach or your sphincter come practice time. 
If you search Papa Romano's in google, you will quickly find CU lacrosse player and defensive midfielder Andy Carstensen enjoying a Redumpskies "Bambino" that will undoubtedly not feel so enjoyable come one-on-ones. 


  1. i just googled it. he's there

  2. As a former Papa Radumpski's employee. I fully support this blog post.

    Marty Taffet
    Former Don of the PR Mafia

  3. I'd say this is one of the most accurate posts Red Hot Buffs has ever seen

  4. illegal petes burrito= dominant pregame meal - food poisoning