Monday, March 21, 2011

RED HOT ARTICLE: Baby Got Back by Attackman Alex Puldy

Every once in a while we get a Red Hot Buff too full of inspiration not to make an RHB post of their own. Sophomore attackman Alex Puldy recently sent us this ode to midfielder Matt White, a sophomore midfielder who's scored six in the last two games. Enjoy.

When people first notice sophomore CU midfielder Matt White, they notice his baby face, his sparkling over the top personality, and above all his large glutious maximus. With a bidonkidonk like that, Matt tends to pick up lots of ground balls, ladies, and Nelly music video offers. Some ponder why and how a white boy from Denver developed a bottom that challenges the buttorious J Lo. Butt, after hours of brainstorming, medical students around the globe have come up with these various hypotheses:

Too much Gerber Baby food

Advanced P.E. as a child


Over active pituitary gland

Hard work in the weight room (removed from the list)

Mark Ingram gene splice experiment

Under cover Jazzercise instructor at the Rec

Product of his environment (Compton)

The mystery of Matt’s butt remains at large and might never be known but what is known is that the butt proves to be quite an obstacle to opponents trying to D him up and might provide inspiration, intimidation, or just pain spunk on CU’s 2011 run towards a national championship.

The behind....behind it all